In these charged times, every conversation can feel like a high-stakes game of roulette. How will my message land?
Differences of opinion can easily escalate into an emotionally-charged conversation that spirals downward, and out of control.
Am I getting my point across? Is the other person listening to me? Why don’t they just understand my point of view?
Tensions rise, battle lines feel drawn and emotions heighten. The innate, automatic responses are a perceived threat. And we experience fight, flight or freeze - the human body’s protective reactions to avoid further confrontation.
If not interrupted, these responses erode trust, communication and the possibility of human connection. And the spiral continues downward. We retreat into our echo chambers, and avoid confrontation with our work colleagues.
If you want to disrupt the pattern, and make challenging conversations easeful, here’s how SpiralMethod works.
When it comes to today's emotionally charged conversations we are in danger of becoming more and more divided, misunderstood and disconnected.
We live in a world where everyone wants their voices and opinions heard, and with all of the online mediums available, it's easier than ever to share your thoughts with the world.
But who is really listening? What power do these words have if they aren't actually heard?
In truth, the most powerful communication tool is not speaking, but listening, really listening. In today's world of nonstop noise, it's a skill that's becoming a rarity.
What happens when we don't listen to each other? We become disconnected. We misunderstand each other, become suspicious, and mistrustful.
When we fail to listen, we stop engaging with ideas outside of our personal beliefs. We lack empathy, and simply dismiss ideas that are not our own.
If we are to have effective and important emotionally charged conversations, we must engage in...
In the discussion and exploration of societal concerns, it may feel at times that it’s impossible to communicate with others, especially when it comes to hot button issues where the recipient has a different view from your own.
Words, expressions or underlying emotions that come out during these highly charged conversations can cause a subconscious trigger, that more often than not, causes a knee-jerk reaction to defend, to prove that your side is right, and to “educate” the other on why that is.
That trigger reaction can show up as bantering, bullying, and dismissiveness. All of these can shut down the conversation and leave people feeling silenced and/or unsafe about further engagement.
We all possess these unconscious obstacles to engagement and trust in a group environment. There is a natural fear of speaking up because of the reaction that may follow.
How do we move past this?
In today’s post, we will explore some basic components...
The past week was rough
I have felt grief larger than my own
A physiological response of fear for the virus (like holding my breath at the store)
A fear of what if we don’t actually change from this disruption
A relief that the “normal” way of life has stopped
A deep trust of the perfection of it all
An excitement that this is the disruption many of us have been waiting for
An intense pressure to move quickly to share the tools I have with the world
A prompt for curiosity
Is this pressure simply my own trauma response?
the one where leading helps one deal with the disruption
Or the one where we want to save people as part of our own reaction to trauma
Or keeping busy to avoid the discomfort of the collapse, the ambiguity, the stillness
(I know all of these intimately from numerous past traumas where these were my primary responses)
Or even wondering if I’m trying to leverage this opportunity to make money
Clarity this weekend
Hi, I'm Leslie Jones. I'm the creator of the groundbreaking spiral method, a holistic leadership development ecosystem for companies and communities. I've been an executive coach for about 25 years now and have worked with major corporations, small to midsize companies, CEOs, and C-suite leadership teams all around North America and the globe. I am on a mission to bridge the disconnection gap and I equip leaders with very simple tools to lead group conversations that create connection and power that are, for many people, produce the kind of results that they didn't even know was possible.
I'd like to talk about the necessity of check-ins. How do you have an effective meeting check-in? In one of the last videos that I did, I had you preparing yourself to get in the space where you are able to be calm, grounded, and be in action with intention and precision.
I want to make sure you're in that space before you go to lead your team and do a check-in because they will follow your...
Hi, I'm Leslie Jones. I am the creator of the SpiralMethod. This is a groundbreaking leadership development ecosystem for communities and companies. I have been an executive coach and facilitator for 25 years now working with major corporations, small to midsize companies, CEOs and C-suite leadership teams. I'm on a mission to end the disconnection gap that we've found ourselves in. I teach leaders how to have group conversations that bring a level of connection and power to any group of people that brings a level of collaboration and results that we haven't even known as possible.
Today, I want to talk about getting yourself ready to lead during these challenging times and making sure that you're ready to bring powerful leadership forward. In order to talk about moving forward, we have to acknowledge the past for a moment.
The norm has been polarity, arguing, lots of conversation around opinions; who's right and who's wrong, unfocused attention, withdrawal, action...