During our recent SpiralMethod Boot Camp training, I was put on the Hot Seat. This is a communication game where everyone (in this case the Boot Camp trainees) gets to ask any question of me that they want. I don’t have to answer at all and I don’t have to answer truthfully…it’s my choice. That is part of the game. I was pretty excited to be the subject of the game because I’ve been leading it for over a decade and rarely do I get to be the one receiving the questions. Believe me, it’s actually fun and transformational to play this game!
During the game, the questions tend to follow a thread, and if it’s a “hot” one we stay on it. One of the first questions was “What intimidates you?” and one of my answers was “Successful, very put together people.” The next question was “What does success mean to you?” My answer to that was “To die without regret.” I had many other thoughts, but sitting there, that was the truest answer.
For me to call my life successful is as simple as that. I’m not sure if it’s because I just turned 50, that I’ve had so many people die around me these past five years, or that my kids are teenagers now, but the past couple of years death has been at the forefront of my mind, my dreams, my moments. Almost to the extent that I was wondering if something was wrong with me that I was thinking about it so much. I have been aware of my death almost 24/7 for 3-4 years at this point. Throughout this time, I also figured maybe I was going to be dying soon and this was part of the preparation. Of course, I don’t know when I will die. I chose a long time ago to be preparing for my death regularly, relating to the fact that it could happen at any time, rather than live in the illusion that I will die of old age.
The next question came… “Do you consider yourself successful? Are you ready to die without regret?”
My answer was, surprisingly, and for the first time ever, “Yes.”
My partner, Costen and I shared later that day about that moment. He said it was a beautiful moment and what surprised him was not only my answer but that the group believed me as well. It’s a little scary to say, but it is true. Do I want to die? No. Do I have more to do on this Earth? Yes. In fact, I have four babies (3 kids plus SpiralMethod) that still need my attention and nourishment. But, if I was to die tomorrow, will it be without regret? Yes. I share all of this in the hope that it will inspire you to proceed in consciousness and truly live every day as if it’s your last. If you are interested, these are the things that I’ve done to prepare for my death:
I go after my dreams.
I do what I say.
I focus on my intentions for Impact rather than Money.
I share my love and acknowledgment with the people around me.
I allow for all of my feelings to arise and flow.
I bring curiosity instead of judgment.
I take challenges as an opportunity to heal something.
I have my affairs in order.
I trust Spirit.
Of course, stress gets the best of me sometimes. My feelings get stuck. I’m not always playful! Those who know me the best know that! We are all human. But I live with intention and stay on track most of the time.
In life and death, with love.